Like other mixed-orientation relationships, poly/mono or mono/poly relationships consist of people with differing identities or practices—in this case, one monogamist that is sexually exclusive with one partner, and something polyamorist who may have or perhaps is searching for partners that are multiple the information and permission of most concerned. The relationship is poly/mono, and from the monogamist’s perspective it is mono/poly—either way, it means negotiating relationship boundaries that seem unusual at least, and possibly bizarre, to people who are accustomed to conventional (serially monogamous) relationships from the polyamorist’s perspective.
The monogamous person has the option to have additional partners and chooses not to do so for a range of reasons in most (if not all) poly/mono relationships. Usually they simply usually do not feel enjoy it, some since they are monogamous by orientation and just never desire multiple lovers, yet others due to certain life circumstances. The unifying element is that the monogamous individual understands about and consents into the poly person’s outside relationships but chooses to not have outside relationships of one’s own.
This is simply not just like a polyamorous few in which both folks are available to or have previously had polyamorous relationships but currently look like monogamous because they’re just dating or married to a single person at this time. Similar to a lesbian continues to be a lesbian even though they are not currently seeing others if she is not currently dating anyone, these folks are still poly even. As opposed to a mono/poly relationship, it might be poly/seeking (or rebounding, or whatever). (more…)